A Day In the Life

6:20 Alarm goes off and I start the day off right by hitting snooze.

6:30 Hit snooze again.

6:40 Hit snooze once more.

6:50 Debate hitting snooze again and wonder how many times you hit snooze this morning.

6:55 Hop in the shower. I wonder if you like hot showers better or cold showers better.

6:56 Wish I would of gone to bed earlier.

6:57 Tell myself I will go to bed earlier.

7:05 Get out of the shower and try to pick out my clothes according to the style I know you like. I want to wear those tan cotton Levi's again because you have told me you like them and all I want is another compliment from you.

7:15 Eat breakfast. I multitask my thoughts. First thinking about what you are going to wear today or how many times I will bump into you in the halls, then to the search and find on the back of the cereal box and then eventually back to you.

7:45 - 2:30 I go to school. This is the place where I get so bored in class that all I do is think about you. What class are you in? Do you enjoy that class? Wanna go out with me?... the answer is no. Even in my daydreams I get rejected.

3:00 - 4:00 I make an attempt to do my homework. I hate homework but I know you are a good student and want to go to BYU. I don't quite have the grades to go there but I am working hard because after hearing you talk about college, I want to go there with you too.

4:00 - 6:00 This is the time where I usually just waste my day away. Listen to music, play sports, get some gaming in.

6:00 - 7:00 I eat dinner sometime in between here. I eat fumbling around with my vegetables. I am a senior in high school but am still scared to eat my vegetables. Do you like vegetables?

7:00 - 10:00 I don't even know what I do during this time.

10:00 Get "ready" for bed. A.K.A. check Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. I try my best to tweet things to get you to laugh. I try so hard to get your attention through twitter. You don't even have a twitter...

10:30 Really get ready for bed. Turn the lights out.

11:00 Fall asleep. Can't get you off my mind.

I have been thinking a lot about you as of recent.

I've Been Thinking

I have been thinking about you like white thinks about rice. Like wrong thinks about right. Like a Jansport backpack thinks about riding your back too tight. I've been thinking about you like pollen thinks about bees. Like leaves think about trees. Like mothers think about children. Like mothers think about having a break from their children. I've been thinking about you like shirts and ties think about church. Like clocks think about time. Like humans think about time. I have been thinking about you like beaches think about oceans. Like Frank Ocean thinks about you.   Like February thinks about March. Like soldiers in the Army think to march. I have been thinking about you like mouths think about chewing, kissing, and talking. Like snakes think about walking. Like stalkers think of stalking. Like corn thinks of... stalking?  I've been thinking about you like cows think about grazing. Like artists think of painting. Like upperclassmen think about hazing, freshman.

Truth is... I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I can't get anything done it's driving me crazy. But at the same time I don't want you to stop being on my mind. I like not being able to think about anything else. It is like you send me into my own personal state of schizophrenia... and I LOVE that.

Things to Teach My Son

In case you didn't want to watch the video. That was the music video for "Just the Two Of Us" performed by the great Will Smith. The song is about how he is grateful for his son, how he thinks he will be when he gets older, then he gives some advice to his son for the future.

Personally I can't wait until the day when I can be a father. I have to have a son though. Girls are great and all but I will need a son to keep me grounded. In this post I just wanted to list off a few things that I want to teach my son.

Things To Teach My Son

1. How to throw a spiral
2. How to tie a necktie
3. How to shave (only his face. If I find out my son shaves his legs like a girl I will treat him as such.)
4. How to change a tire
5. Dont do drugs
6. How to gain the respect of others
7. To show his emotions in a tough manly way
8. How to throw a punch
9. I want to teach my son how to read. Is that a mom thing? I don't really know but I want to do that.
10. How to fix an engine (still need to learn that one myself)
11. How to tie his shoelaces.
12. How to dress. 
13. About having a relationship with God
14. Dont quit
15. How to be a leader

          I just want my son to be a better more humble version of me. I am a strong believer in leading by example. I hope I will set a good example for my future son. I will now that I have failed as a father if my son is not better off then I am.

My Own Stupid Fears

I am afraid of Band-Aids, used or not. I'm afraid of driving yet I do it on a daily basis. What is worse is when you are driving around on empty. I am afraid of the color white after Labor Day. I'm afraid of sawdust and dry skin. Not together but ya.

 Sometimes I am not really scared but kind of embarrassed to be seen in public with my family.

 Especially my bald father.

 I am afraid of indie kids and their weird music, their weird clothes, and their lack of desire to use soap when they shower. I am afraid of standing out in a group and having all the attention on me. However, I am more scared of blending in and being a nobody. I am afraid of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on wheat bread. I am scared of using cheap hair products with the fear that it will change the texture of my hair.

I am petrified to get anywhere near her lips.

I am afraid of men that have more hair on their face then their head. I am scared of what I will find in the toilet if the last person to use it did not flush. I am afraid at the lack of swag that white rappers tend to have. I have a fear of eating a whopper in fear that Ronald Mcdonald himself will catch me betraying the Big Mac.

I am just a scared little boy in a big big world.

She Makes Me Feel

She makes me feel...

• Like I'm somebody, anybody other than myself. As I am with her I become an innocent bystander. Watching a nervous, idiotic, unexperienced teenage boy put forth his best effort to try and woo her. Fumbling over his sweet nothings. Trying to have her notice him "unintentionally" flexing even though he has no meat on his pasty white skin. This kid is pathetic. 

• Like I am a Pandora station.  I hate 9 out of the 10 songs being played but I keep listening so I can "thumbs up" that one song and hopefully add variety to my current music library. She is that one song.

• Like it's Christmas morning. I have one last present to open. I know the remainder of the day will be filled with fun but.... the second I open that last gift the true exhilaration of Christmas day ends. I have to wait a whole other 365 days to resume the excitement. However, somehow that day seems to come speedily back around every year without fail. 

• She makes me feel... good.

Imperfect Love

 What exactly is love? I believe that love is imperfections coming together to create perfection. Its that urge to hold back that stutter every time I talk to her. Get over the lump in my throat. How can I even be me when she is right there next to me? I don't really know the answer to that question. Can anybody answer that for me?

 I don't think you really love somebody until you would give up everything to be with that person. love has to be 100% completely selfless. Just like "The Great Compromise of 1787" you better be ready to give up a whole heck of a lot. If you don't think your ready to take off your "Air Force Ones" and put on her heels..... Boy get out dat relationship!

  A crucial part of love is pain.

 Pain. Love. Don't think they mix? Think again because they go together like Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen, like cookies and milk, like the inhale and exhale in a full breathe. If your body doesn't ache when you can't be with the person you love. Honestly to me, if it doesn't hurt you are not loving hard.

 Nobody is going to be perfect on their own. However if you have two kinda perfect people and you put them together, that equals like one super person right? All I'm saying is why have the cake if you can't have the sweet frosting?

Cling To You

Dang, that is cute right there. Look at that fluffy baby clinging to his mom. This picture shows you more than just two cute animals. It shows you what is important in that little guys mind. He "clings" to his mom. What do you cling to? Imagine yourself about to enter battle. You are putting your life on the line. Not knowing if you will live to see another ray of vibrant sunlight. What will you cling to then? You can't cling to money, cars, and clothes. Those things won't matter in the end. They won't be able to revive you when you get gunned down. Some cling to friendships, some to distant memories. I like to cling to religion. You are my religion. I cling to you.

Humanity At It's Finest

I know that I am human in those moments where I demonstrate my creativity. I know that I am human because I have the ability to think for myself. Its not just the thoughts that make me human. It is when I put those thoughts into action.  The natural man is naturally robotic.  Humans are constantly trying to fit in with others. If everybody is trying to fit in is anybody really fitting in? The answer is no. They are not. They are just falling to a robotic state. The moments that we go against the grain is when we are the most human. When we can block out the ways of the world and focus on what we need to do. I am not a robot. I am human.